At peace

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter, I had positive pregnancy tests this week - two of the line variety and one digital! I thought I had pregnancy signs really early but kept getting negative tests, so I was a basket case. You don't even want to know how much money I pissed away this month (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). The day of ye olde aunt flo came and went, and I didn't know if I was pregnant or if I had managed to extend my very short luteal phase with the B6 I'd been taking. Win/win, sort of.

I had my first beta on Thursday but didn't get the results because of a snafu with my doctor's office. I had my second beta today. I won't get results 'til Monday. After two miscarriages, I alternate between being completely terrified and being at peace with it all. Today is the latter. If it works, we'll have a baby in nine months and if it doesn't, we'll adopt our first child and try again in a couple of years. While I'll be devastated to lose another one, I'm also relieved to have reached a point where we have a plan and it's in progress.

Like many other couples, we give our pregnancies nicknames. Our first was Lima Bean. Our second was Ant. I asked mrohkay about #3, and he declared that its name is Carlos, after the baby in The Hangover. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it stuck despite my objections. So, if you're inclined to pray, pray for Carlos to develop into a baby this time. (And I'll pray that Carlos develops into a girl, so that it doesn't accidentally get stuck with that name after birth!)