This weekend is my sister's baby shower, which I am hosting (like the good sister that I am). Now to be honest, my mom has done most of the work so far. She bought the decor, is making the food, and ordered the cake. I did most of the invites. I'm planning the favors and the games... and by planning, I mean I haven't done it yet even though the party is three days away. It's not that I don't want to do these things. I've just been really, really busy.
I am, however, dreading the trip I'm making to Babies backwards R Us tomorrow. I bought most of her gift already and shipped it to her (she's flying in for the shower, so flying home with presents is kind of a problem), but I want to pick out a couple of small things for her to open at the shower. Like cute little clothes. I haven't been to the backwards R store since before I was TTC (or as I more inclusively call it now TTOB - trying to obtain baby), but I can tell you that the cute little baby section of normal stores makes me teary... let alone an entire store full of baby glory.
Don't get me wrong. I'm super excited about our adoption and so that makes the pangs hurt much less. But I can't deny that I'm jealous of the ease other people in my life have in forming their families. This weekend, I'm not only throwing a baby shower for my sister but also seeing one of my good friends who is pregnant with her second. The last time I saw her I was pregnant too. This week my co-worker announced to a few people that she was pregnant. I used to be two weeks ahead of her. I'm not for a minute sorry that mrohkay and I are on the path we're on now. But I wish I didn't have the emotional scars from the previous paths. I don't think they've made me a better person.
