I don't have lupus. I can look at my sister's ultrasound pics without crying. I won't implode if a male doctor sees my cha-cha. My uterus looks normal when you light it up with saline. My progesterone is low. The longer you leave in a speculum, the less it hurts. My right ovary may not be bum after all. I am really lucky to be able to get pregnant naturally, even though I lost both of them. Four people I know from high school have fertility issues. It isn't just me.
All in all, it was a crappy summer. Tweeting and reading other people's blogs really helped me get through it. But now it's almost fall, and I am determined to enter my favorite season of the year with a positive outlook. I've got the all-clear to start making babies again. I'm trying very hard to feel - or at least pretend like I feel* - like I will get pregnant a third time and it will stick. And if it doesn't, I can handle trying one more time.
*Fake it til you make it? Kill me now - I think I just quoted Dr Phil.
So, I'm going to paint our hypothetical baby's room yellow. I'm going to stop giving the evil eye to pregnant people. I'm going to get past my first baby's due date with as few tears as possible (that's the best I can do with that one). I'm more of a dark humor sort of person, but on with the sunshiney forced positivity! It will work... or I'll give it a knuckle sandwich. Mmm, a sandwich with goat cheese. At least I had a summer with goat cheese.
