We didn't start out being superstitious about buying baby things. We hadn't bought any for baby #1, but not out of fear. I wanted to buy a little something for baby #2, but it was gone before we found anything we wanted to buy. By baby #3, we were too afraid to buy anything. After we started the adoption process, we bucked the trend and bought baby a Christmas present last year - a stuffed giraffe. Since then we've picked up a couple of things here or there (though honestly my mom has purchased more than we have).
By now, we can clothe our child for a whole week:
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| Note the purposeful pink to not-pink ratio. |
Not to say we didn't start making small preparations before then. We've given Goodwill enough junk - ahem, quality tax-deductible items - to outfit the population of Wyoming. (Yes, I know the population of Wyoming isn't
that big... what do you think we are, hoarders?)
We agreed to paint after we finished the home study.
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"What? It's not like the baby's going to come
storming in here demanding dessert-colored walls." |
The room is mostly empty now.
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Where else would I keep my law books
but in the baby's room? |
And yet we keep procrastinating on buying the "big stuff." First, we said we'd do it after the referral. Then after passing court. Whether it is pregnancy or adoption, eventually a time rolls around when you have to start pretending like you believe a child will be the result of all of this. I say
pretend like you believe - not
actually believe. Because I've still got a protective coating that mostly prevents me from actually believing - we've been on the shit side of the statistics for too long. Not to say the pretending isn't fun! We're going to look at cribs today, in fact. But only looking.
Many people perceive adoption as a guarantee. Unfortunately, it isn't. The process of adopting is just as fragile and miraculous as any pregnancy. Less stressful on a day-to-day basis, perhaps, but with the potential for heartbreak always looming.
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| Oogie Boogie baby snatcher. |
In addition to the usual fears - nutrition, health, safety - we're heading into a time of expected political unrest in the country we're adopting from. The next month or so will be critical to the stability of the government - and hence to our adoption. I've been pretty calm and patient through this adoption (despite the no-blogging restrictions that I
mostly abide by), but my zen is fraying at the edges now.
The only thing that keeps me going (other than the cute referral picture that I can't share with you yet) is this:
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| Socks that look like shoes are the bees' knees. |
